I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize