Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
