Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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