It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
