so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
