She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
