Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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