I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
