My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
