Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
