Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
