Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
