You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
