Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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