I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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