How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I understand Curling. That high.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
