I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
