btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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