I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
