Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
