there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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