did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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