I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize