i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize