dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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