Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
