Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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