Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
