ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
