1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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