He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sorry about my life...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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