if you like me you must not know who I am
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
