do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
