is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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