ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize