All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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