You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
