So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Randomize
