he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
