Cold hands, warm shart.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize