I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
