Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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