I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
