Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize