Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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