i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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