she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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