we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
