So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
