I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
