I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize