In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
