Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
