My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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