either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
