and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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