new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
